A Man’s Most Difficult Struggle

Biblical Manhood
Selected Scriptures
2007.12.05
one28 Wednesday worship

Man’s most difficult struggle is not dealing with a specific sin (like anger or lust or pride), though sin is (a large part of) what makes this struggle so hard.

Each and every godly man has this “struggle” in common. We read in Scripture that men like Abraham, Isaac, Moses, Samuel, Elijah, Elisha, David, Solomon, Ezra, Nehemiah, Job, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel, Jonah, the disciples and apostles of Jesus, as well as Jesus Himself all did this, and most of them did it regularly.

Not only did these more well known Bible characters do it, men of every occupation in all kinds of situation did it. Kings, priests, prophets, farmers, servants all did it. Men did it when they were building or battling, when they were mourning or doing ministry, when they were traveling, when they were tired, when they were tempted, when they were planning, when they needed provision, when they needed protection. Godly men everywhere PRAYED!

There is perhaps no more important, consistent characteristic of a godly man than prayer. Regardless of your vocation, regardless of your culture, regardless of your spiritual giftedness, a man who is godly, a man who lives according to the Bible prays.

And yet prayer is also probably the most difficult struggle a man has. Before I suggest why it is so great a struggle, why am I calling it a “struggle” in the first place?

The biblical reason I say prayer is a struggle is found in Colossians 4:12. Paul wrote to the Colossian church instructing them about the preeminence of Christ so that they would become complete in Christ, spiritually mature, knowing God’s will and walking in a manner of life fully pleasing to God. Near the end of his letter Paul sent greetings from Epaphras–one of Colosse’s own, apparently the one who started the church in Colosse, and the one who came to Paul for help. Paul tells the Colossians that Epaphras was always struggling on your behalf in his prayers. That knocks my socks off almost every time I read it.

The word struggling is a term Paul frequently uses in reference to ministry in the NT; the Greek word ἀγωνίζομαι. It means “to struggle, to fight, to battle” for something. It is to give all you’ve got for a particular purpose. Prayer requires that kind of effort; it is that kind of fight; it is a struggle.

The theological reason I say prayer is a struggle is because everything about us men shouts PRIDE. Prayer and pride do not fit together. Prayer says we’re needy, pride says we aren’t going to ask anybody for anything. Prayer says we’re weak, pride says me and my kid can beat up you and your honor roll kid. Prayer says I can’t figure it out on my own, pride says I don’t need your input. Prayer says God gets the glory, pride says I’d like some of the spotlight for myself. So our own hearts full of man pride make prayer a struggle.

And doesn’t experience itself confirm that prayer is a struggle? We’d rather sleep than pray. We’d rather play than pray. We’d rather work than pray, even when the work is the right thing, since after all, there’s a lot of work to do. I love how Piper puts it,

Both our flesh and our culture scream against spending an hour on our knees beside a desk piled with papers. It is un-American (un-manly) to be so impractical as to devote oneself to prayer and meditation two hours a day. (Brothers, We are not Professionals, p.55)

But though prayer is a difficult struggle, it also carries tremendous significance for us as men. I want to show you from a few passages why I think prayer is an especially manly thing.

Titus 2:6 (connected with 1 Peter 4:7)

When I taught the ladies a the beginning of the Biblical Manhood/Womanhood series I went to Titus 2. There Paul gives instructions through Titus to the various groups in the Cretan churches. To the young women I pointed out their various obligations are all centered around the home.

But the younger men have one obligation in verse 6 and it has no limitations or focus on a place. Instead it aims at a young man’s mind.

Urge younger men to be self-controlled.

Young men are to be self-controlled or “sober-minded.” The idea is to use your head with a focus on restraint, composure, and a good kind of seriousness.

I’ve said before, this is probably the most lacking area in young men today who are instead lighthearted, careless, inattentive, concerned with the trivial, and self-indulgent. Certainly the requirement of self-control has benefits across the whole of a young man’s life, but I wonder if we can make a connection between being self-controlled and praying. Yes we can, from 1 Peter 4:7.

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.

Self-control has benefits in all a man’s life, but self-control is especially important when it comes to prayer. Men must be self-controlled so they can pray. Prayer is that important for a man.

1 Peter 3:7

There are at least two more passages that connect godly men to prayer. For example, 1 Peter 3. In chapter three Peter begins with some instructions for married people, for the women and for the men. He devotes the first six verses to the women and just one to the men (perhaps that has something to do with our short attention span), nevertheless his instruction to the men is short and sweet.

husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

This is amazing to me. Peter gives instruction to both the women and the men: women are to be submissive to their own husbands and men are to be thoughtful, appreciative, and considerate to their wives. And notice that both responsibilities have a purpose. Look at verse 1, so that (the unbelieving husbands) may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. That is powerful submission; God can use a woman’s submission to save her husband. So wouldn’t we expect something similar as a purpose for the man’s right treatment of his wife? Something like, “live with your wives in an understanding way so that she may be won by your considerate conduct”? But instead we see so that your prayers may not be hindered.

A couple things stand out to me about this. First, Peter assumes that the men were already praying. He doesn’t say “so that you can start to pray” but that you can keep praying unhindered. Second, Peter implies that disrupted prayer is a tragedy, similar to the tragedy of an unbelieving life. On the other hand, unhindered prayer is (at least loosely) compared to salvation! Wow! Whether these unhindered prayers are the husbands personal prayers (which I tend to think) or family prayers the husband leads, prayer for men is a consummate work. Don’t let anything hinder your prayers–even the closest earthly relationship you have. That’s how significant prayer is for a man.

1 Timothy 2:8

There is one more passage I want us to see where men and prayer and inextricably linked. In 1 Timothy 2 Paul gave instructions for various groups in the church. After urging that “supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for all people” and fleshing that out in verses 1-7, he tells the men and the women what their special duties were in verse 8-15.

For sake of comparison we see that the women are supposed to adorn themselves with certain character traits and good works. This is no throw-away instruction. It gets the core of what is important for a woman. Likewise, at the core of importance for men is the charge to pray.

The men are to pray in every place. I think that is in all the churches all over. They are to pray lifting up holy hands which is a reference not so much to the position or posture or prayer, but to their character. The “hands” was a way to talk about one’s life, the things one touches, so men are to pray with a holy life. And they are to pray without anger or quarreling. The bottom line is, godly men pray.

Why Godly Men Must Pray

So why is it so important for men to pray? Obviously it is important for both men and women to pray. But even though prayer is not exclusively manly, I think it is especially manly. Even though it is such a serious struggle men must pray to be godly men.

Back in the summer I taught a message on Men at Work where I identified three things that distinguish a godly, manly servant. Godly, manly servants Take Initiative, they Take Responsibility, and they Make Sacrifices, I.R.S.

Prayer makes a difference in each one of these responsibilities that we might be godly men. To be a godly man, prayer is necessary to:

1. Take Initiative for the Right Things

Men don’t wait around for someone else to tell them what to do. They don’t need to be told what to do. That’s part of what it means to be a man and not a child. Men don’t need to have their hand held. They do what needs to be done and look for more things to do. They don’t just react, they pro-act. A godly man-servant is aggressive and decisive. They start the ball rolling.

But, how will you know if you are taking initiative in the right direction? That is why prayer is so important. Scripture is littered with examples of men who did not seek direction from God before making decisions. I just read this past week about the apostasy of God’s people in Hosea and one example was their self-initiative.

They made kings, but not through me.
They set up princes, but I knew it not. (8:4)

Just the opposite was true of our ultimate man example, Jesus. Before beginning His public ministry (and also immediately prior to the three temptations of Satan) Jesus fasted and prayed for 40 days (see Matthew 4:1-11, especially verse 2). Just as significant, Luke 6:12-16 reveals that before choosing and calling disciples who would represent Him Jesus spent the whole night in prayer. He did not take initiative without seeking direction from His Father.

2. Take Responsibility in the Right Way

Godly men don’t make excuses. They do not blame other people for their problems or their mistakes. A godly man-servant doesn’t shirk responsibility, he shoulders it. They work hard for the sake of others.

But how will you have the strength to do that? Where will you get the wisdom to do that?

Over and over again in the gospels, before and after ministering to the crowds and healing sickness and preaching His kingdom message and training the 12, Jesus prayed. Even the Son of God depended on the Father as He bore responsibility.

3. Make Sacrifices for the Right Purpose

It is too often that we find men indulging themselves, seeing how much we can get someone to sacrifice for us. Instead our lives are to be spent for the sake of others. Men are called to give up their own lives, to spend themselves for their wives, their children, their disciples, and their friends. Often they must make tough choices, forsaking things that might be otherwise permissible for the sake of someone else.

But how will you make sacrifices that show off God instead of yourself?

The great danger is that we will make the sacrifice and then take the credit. In our pride we will be reluctant to direct the glory to God.

Again Jesus is our perfect example. Before His ultimate sacrifice we find Him praying (Matthew 26:36-46). He knew it was going to be difficult and painful, so that He requested three times that the cup might pass from Him. As He considered His coming death His soul was troubled. John 12:27-28

Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.

Jesus’ concern was that His sacrifice be for the Father’s glory, not His own. Of course the Father glorified the Son as the Son glorified the Father. But prayer played a key part in the Son’s purpose.

So the timing of our initiative, the manner of our responsibility, purpose of our sacrifices depend on prayer. Not just what men do is important, but when we do it, how we do it, and why we do it. A man can’t be a godly man without prayer.

Conclusion

You simply cannot be a Christian man if you don’t pray. I’m not talking about prayer being a work that you do that saves you or sanctifies you. I am not talking about something else that you need to do to make God happy with you. I am simply looking at it from the standpoint of standard Christian man practice.

Consider first, Christians are to be like Christ and Christ prayed. You can hardly read in any of the gospels before you find Christ praying. The Son of God, the Second Person of the Trinity, God in human flesh, prayed. He prayed often. He prayed regularly. He prayed when it was inconvenient to pray. And if Christians are actually “little Christs,” if Christians are being “conformed into the image of Christ,” if being “complete in Christ” means being like Him, if He has left us “an example that we should following in His steps,” then Christian men will pray.

Second, Christian men are to obey Christ and Christ taught us to pray. Not only by His example, but by His own direct words. It is not something He expected men to pick up implicitly (though we do that too), it is something He commanded explicitly.

And third, Christian men are to glorify God and prayer shows God’s greatness. Prayer glorifies God in at least two ways, 1) it shows His greatness in that we want to spend time with Him. And 2) it shows His greatness by highlighting His resources and resourcefulness. When we don’t pray it must be because we think we can take care of ourselves. This attitude robs God of glory due only to Him.

We are too comfortable professing faith and asserting our manliness without praying. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Godly, manly men pray like Christ.