one28 PodcastAdorn Your Heart
Susan Bone
1 Peter 3:1-6
2007.10.17
one28 Wednesday worship
Note: the audio for this message is not available. Thanks to Susan for sharing her notes.
When Pastor Higgins first introduced the idea of dedicating Wednesday nights to Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and having staff lead these discussions, I immediately thought of the passage in 1 Peter 3: 1-6. It has always been a favorite of mine because of its conviction, encouragement and faith building in my life. I pray that it might be for you too.
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
This section is about submission and obedience to your husband, which has lots of application for you–even though most of you are not married–because Peter describes and illustrates the heart necessary to truly submit and obey.
The example Peter uses is Sarah whom we know from the book of Genesis.
What do you remember about Sarah?
Her name was originally Sarai meaning “my princess” until she was 89 years old. Then God changed her name to Sarah meaning “Princess.” Sarah was stunningly beautiful. Muslim tradition says she resembled Eve, which was significant since the tradition also says God gave Eve 2/3 of all beauty and the remaining third to all the other woman.
Let’s look briefly at Sarah’s life and why Peter chose her to illustrate a holy woman who trusted God and adorned her heart with submission to her husband.
In Genesis God called Abraham out of the sophisticated pagan culture of Ur to a new place. He would lead Abram so that he might be the father of a great nation, that his name would be great, and that he would be a blessing.
Sarah, his wife was willing to leave all and happily follow Abraham to wherever God led them because her faith and hope was in God.
They had no destination plan; no idea where they were going. Hebrews 11:8 reveals that “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country dwelling in tents….”
After leaving Ur, they came to Haran and dwelt there for quite some time.
When Abraham was 75 and Sarah 65, God again restated His promise to Abraham to make him a great nation even though there was no child yet. They packed up their tents and left for Canaan which was about 350 miles away, roughly the same distance from Seattle to Spokane.
So here was Sarah, no home, no child and yet the Bible says she was a woman who was submissive to her own husband–she obeyed him, did good, and was not afraid for herself.
When they arrived in Canaan, there was a severe famine so they left for Egypt for food.
Abraham knew Sarah was very beautiful and that the Egyptians would probably want her and would therefore kill him, her husband, to have her. To protect himself, Abraham told her to say she was his sister. Sarah obeyed Abraham even though it meant she would end up in Pharaoh’s harem and her own life put in danger. Sarah was able to do that because she was a worshipper of God. Her faith and hope were in God. She didn’t argue with Abraham or accuse him of being unfair, thinking of himself, not considering her, etc., even though all of those things were true! She just obeyed him.
About 25 years later, a similar situation arose with another King, King Abimilech who was wowed by her beauty (when she was almost 90 years old) and wanted her for his harem. Again Abraham asked her to say she was his sister even though it would be dangerous for her, again Sarah obeyed.
This is an amazing picture of submission even in potentially life threatening situations, and ironically it was her outer beauty that made her inner adorning so important. Who knows what she would have done without a submissive heart. In both situations God intervened and protected Sarah keeping her safe and pure.
Sarah was not perfect though. In between these two stories we read in Genesis 16 that Sarah was still without a child and now about 75 years old. Hope was beginning to grow thin. How would Abraham be the father of a great nation with no heir?
Abraham suggested to God that maybe his servant Eliezer could be the heir. But God said no and confirmed the heir would come from Abraham.
The situation and circumstances made it look like it was impossible for God to fulfill His promise. In weakness and earthly wisdom Sarah made a big mistake by trying to help God out.
It was a custom of that time that a barren wife could have her maid servant go to her husband and if the servant had a baby that baby would legally be the wife’s. Sarah did that with Hagar. Immediately she knew it was wrong, and she became bitter, envious, and treated Hagar with disdain. The result of not trusting God is a lack of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Another 14 years passed and now Sarah was 89 and Abraham was 99. God came to them again but this time He changed their names and again made the promise of a child to be the channel of His covenant blessings. Sure enough, the next year a 90 year old Sarah finally gave birth to Isaac. It was God’s plan all along that Sarah be barren until old age when God would in His time fulfill His promise of a child.
There was more to the picture than just having a child and Sarah did understand that. Sarah’s faith was remarkable and she is included in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11:11-12. At times though her faith wavered because the situation looked impossible. In reality the situation was impossible and that’s exactly how God wanted it so that there would be no question that it was His doing and for His glory.
Most women would have given up long before and been bitter with disappointment. But Hebrews says Sarah “judged Him faithful who had promised.” Sarah believed God would do what He said He would do. Her hope, her strength was in God and His promises. Because of her faith in God she could obey Abraham and be a blessing to him.
It doesn’t matter whether you are submitting to husband, parents, elders or one another, you must first have a heart that trusts in God. Sarah trusted God first and then was able to obey Abraham.
Let’s look again at 1 Peter 3:4-5. Peter is saying the holy women in former times who trusted God adorned themselves inwardly, in their heart, with a gentle and quiet spirit. This spirit grows out of faith, trust and obedience to God.
Sarah is our example. She had breathtaking physical beauty and wealth to dress in the finest. The hallmark of her life was her faith in God which produced a gentle and quiet spirit by which she freely, enthusiastically and without fear of how things would work out for her submitted and obeyed her husband Abraham.
Peter is admonishing you young ladies and us leaders to adorn our hearts that we also might have a gentle and quiet spirit. Let’s look at how we do that.
Three Amazing Qualities of a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
Peter shows us three amazing qualities of a gentle and quiet spirit: 1) It is the hidden person of the heart, 2) It is of imperishable beauty, 3) It is very precious to God.
1. It is the hidden person of the heart
The hidden person of the heart is who you really are, your loves and desires; thoughts and attitudes; priorities. This is in contrast to taking care of the outside; arranging your hair, jewelry and latest fashion. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take care of our outside selves but too often that is the focus to the degree that our hearts are left uncared for.
Your heart is always more important than clothes. Next year nobody is going to remember or care about your fashion statement today but if you have neglected adorning your heart that will be very evident.
How can you adorn your heart?
- Love God with whole heart
- Confess sin
- Walk in the Spirit
2. It is of imperishable beauty
The beauty of an adorned heart is imperishable, that is, it doesn’t die or decay. There is no expiration date. Adorning your heart is worth it because it is true beauty that lasts.
- Doesn’t stain, rip, fray
- Doesn’t wrinkle
- It does not spoil in any way
- Doesn’t go out of fashion
In fact it lasts and is preserved for all eternity. Your heart is who you are and one day you will come face to face with the Lord of glory and it will not matter what color your toe nails are or what hairstyle you have, if you are too thin or too fat, etc.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of our selves and looking nice but the overwhelming preoccupation for many of you is your outward appearance and not your heart.
Sarah was more beautiful than anyone living today and yet she is remembered and commended for the beauty of her heart.
3. It is very precious in the sight of God
The phrase very precious means of highest cost; the most expensive that there is possible; the very end of the most it could cost. Nothing is more costly!
Can God really ever say that about you or me? Who is God’s most valued possession? Jesus Christ. A gentle and quiet spirit is a Christ-filled, Christ-controlled, Christ-consumed, Christ-glorifying spirit. That kind of spirit is precious in God’s sight. A gentle and quiet spirit is of the most highest value to God because it is Christ in us.
Here’s the key: adorning outwardly glorifies me, but adorning inwardly glorifies God. We either seek to call attention to our own glory or we reveal the glory of God in Christ.
Specifically and practically what does it mean to have a gentle and quiet spirit?
Gentle
The word gentle also means meek, mild, or humble. The noun form of the word isn’t addressing so much the outward behavior in how you relate to others, but “rather it is an in wrought grace of the soul and the exercises of it are first and chiefly towards God. It is that temper of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good and therefore without disputing or resisting” (Vines dictionary).
Sarah’s faith was in God, she trusted His will for her, therefore could obey Abraham even in danger. As God took care of her she must have rejoiced and trusted Him even more.
Quiet
The second word Peter uses is quiet. This does not mean someone who doesn’t talk. When I was your age I was very shy and didn’t talk so I thought this described me but I was very wrong. Quiet comes from a compound word meaning to keep one’s seat; to be still. It describes one who is undisturbed, settled, immovable and doesn’t disturb those around them. It sounds a lot like tree planted by streams of living water in Psalm 1:2-3.
When people are around you are they drawn to Christ or agitated? Are you a giver or taker? Are you concerned about the other person or yourself?
Only one who is living for Christ wholeheartedly can have this kind of quiet spirit.
Five Traits NOT Found in a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
1. Manipulation
Girls can devise all kinds of plans to get their way and be noticed.
2. Self-pity
This is the “poor me” attitude, unforgiving of others and expecting others to meet your needs rather than others-oriented.
3. Easily Offended
Girls often get upset because somebody did not meet their expectations. Do others have to tip toe around you?
4. Arrogance
This is the “me and what I’m doing is most important” attitude. They have a big need to be recognized. “I’m too important to do that task.” We are around lots of these kinds of people and they are a drain, not gentle or humble.
5. Complaining
Often those who have been given the most are often the biggest complainers. All of you girls have an abundance and much to be thankful for. When was the last time you thanked your parents for even one thing they’ve done for you? Do you even notice what they’ve done for you? How about thanking God?
If you have any of these traits or one’s like them you are not trusting God or submitting to the people in your life that you should be. Neither do you have a gentle and quiet spirit.
All the outward beauty practices in the world won’t hide the ugliness of any of these qualities in your life.
Three Biblical Traits Connected with a Gentle and Quiet Spirit
In contrast these are a few of the qualities that are connected with a gentle and quiet spirit in Scripture.
1. The fruit of the Spirit – Gal 5:22,23
The gentle and quiet spirit is connected with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
2. Contentment
A gentle and quiet spirit is thankful. It sees blessings and acknowledges that those blessings were given by God. The gentle and quiet spirit is also patient with God’s plan.
3. Confident
A gentle and quiet spirit knows that God’s way is always best. Those who trust Him completely are ready to obey. They also have an eternal perspective. If you are living just for the pleasure of the day you will be very frustrated and disappointed with the people and circumstances in your life.
Conclusion
I hope you are able to see the very strong, opposing contrast between a young lady whose faith is in God verses faith in herself, one who is adorning the outward and physical instead of her heart, one who can then submit and one who can’t.
You need to start seriously adorning your heart right now. You are commanded to, you will be held accountable by God, and it is urgent.
Don’t think, “When I’m get to High School then I’ll be serious, or college, or when I get married.” It does not work that way. In fact the longer you wait the harder it is. If you complain now, you will when you get married, easily offended, self pity, etc.
I urge you to adorn your heart with a gentle and quiet spirit that trusts in God.
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